Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My Heart is Heavy....

My heart is heavy tonight. A dear & good friend of mine, Troy Gray, lost his battle to cancer last night, and went home to be with Jesus. Even through all the pain and heart ache I am feeling right now, and even through my shaken fists and angry words, I KNOW God is still good, and He still loves me unconditionally but my heart is breaking. Transitioning from one high school to another is like a teenagers nightmare, I would know, that was me, my sophomore year but just when I lost hope and thought I'd be miserable for the next three years I was introduced to a youth group called Younglife. Here I experienced love I have never knew before, I felt joy that was indescribable, and a peace that I never knew existed. I came to know and accept my Savior, Jesus Christ. And all because of one man, with big ol' cheeks :), a heart yearning to share Jesus with high schoolers and to serve his Lord. Troy Gray was one amazing man of God. There was a glow about him, when you saw him, you would think to yourself, "Who is that man?!" & maybe because he was this giant man singing Nsync at the top of his lungs haha, but his love for Christ was always so apparent. He was strong and bold about sharing the Gospel. He was never scared to share that message of Jesus to people. He knew the freedom that came in knowing Jesus and he wanted the whole world to hear it! That is something I will never forget about him, he is truly an inspiration to people, all because he loved Jesus, with his whole heart. Troy believed in me, he stood up for me when I couldn't, and he always motivated me to get deeper in the scriptures and with people. Troy Gray changed lives by letting the Spirit move in him unceasingly. Like I said before, through all this, I still know and believe God is good, even if I don't understand why this is happening and I'm guessing I never will. One thing I hold onto is knowing that right now, heaven is having a party, the angels are singing, Jesus is smiling and God is saying "well done, good and faithful servant" while Troy sits with them, rejoicing that he is finally home, he is home. I just ask if you're the praying type you would pray for Troy's wife Kelly, their two small children, Garrison (5) & Aven (11months), Troy's family, and all those grieving the loss of a wonderful man and friend. 

Sunday, October 23, 2011

New Job....

seriously though. 
I got a new job & I am so excited/blessed/humbled about it.
It's seriously like a dream come true,
well prayer answered.
My AHHHHMAZING sista friend Katie Nelson hooked it up,
I am one of the newest employee's for EDMC;OHE.
Education Management Corporatio; Online Higher Education.
I have AMAZING pay,
pretty solid benefits,
work with some pretty baller people,
and after my 90 days,
I get to go to college, FO FREE! 
I'm seriously more blessed than I deserve,
Jesus is so good to me.

Utah Trip...

So the first week of October, I flew up to Utah to visit one of my best friends,
Erica Thornhill in Logan, UT.
That place is BEAUTIFUL, seriously.
I love it so much up there,
its about an hour & forty five minutes from Salt Lake.
It's a pretty small town, with not much to do
besides go to the college, Utah State University;
its a simple little town.
It was nice to get away for a couple days,
ease my mind from the world,
take time for myself,
and sleep in. (not like i dont do that anyway ha!)
I also go to hang out with my other good friend Kailin,
she is pretty much a baller with a lot swag.
I'm so proud of her for being up there,
she is doing big things on that USU campus :)
Oh & on Friday Erica & I drove up to SLC to visit my sister friend Katie Nelz & 
her hubby Bryson.
We ate at this AMAZING waffle place,
I want them now....
There are times I want to move to Logan and never come back
but for right now,
Tempe, AZ is the place for me.

Lindsay, Kailin, Me in front of Logan Temple

Erica's beautiful backyard!

Logan, Utah.


seriously, dream come true.

Logan Temple.

oh hey hot stuff!

gorgeous Logan Temple!

Sista Friend Katie Nelson

Miss her already!

love her a lot.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Pre Update....

so basically my life never slows down it seems.
i am ALWAYS doing one thing or another,
i may grunt or complain about it at the moment,
but i dont think i would have it any other way.
i like being busy,
being with family and friends,
experiencing new things daily.
you know what they say;
you can sleep when you're dead.
so hopefully tomorrow or Sunday ill be able to catch up on some blogging
stay tuned :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Getting Away....

tomorrow I am heading off to see my best friend
in Logan, Utah.
I am so excited to get away,
I've been day dreaming of just laying on a blanket in the grass
& reading some books or falling asleep.
I cannot wait, I love Logan.
It's a small town with not much to do,
it's refreshing. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

He Has Arrived.....

The most precious, perfect, loving 
nephew has arrived & I'm honored to be his aunt.
Tyson Palmer arrived on September 21st, 2011
at 6.03 am, 7lbs & 10 oz. 
He couldn't be any more perfect, I swear!
Momma & baby are both healthy and doing great,
poppa is doing good too :)
He is so tiny & innocent & pure,
I love it so much & I already love him with all my heart. 
I'm so excited to grow with him,
but I am most excited to watch Brett & Kristen grow as well,
as people, as parents, as husband & wife, and as a family.
God is so apparent in my life and He is so good. 
I praise Him & rejoice with Him over baby Tyson.
Tyson, always remember;
 "For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well."

-Psalm 139:13-14

You are loved Tyson, you are oh so loved. 

Monday, September 19, 2011

Tomorrow is The Day....

I will be announced 
My sister-in-law & brother will be 
having their first baby, it's a boy!
I am so so so excited to meet this little fellow,
he is already so loved.
I don't think he'll ever understand
the impact he's having on this family.
I haven't even met him yet 
but I love him already, SO MUCH!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Just When You Thought.....

Everything was getting better,
you get hit with another blow.

But don't worry,
He'll help me up,
He always does.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

One Year, Holllller.

Wow, can I just start off by saying I cannot believe how fast a year really does fly bye! On August 27th, 2010 I made one of the hardest yet most fulfilling decisions I've ever had to make. I followed the example of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints & let me tell you, it's been on heck of a year. My interest in the Church first sparked during the summer 2009 when one of my best friends boyfriend left for his mission. I was baffled by how he could just leave for two years, getting paid nothing, having to pay himself to go knock on doors 6 days aweek. Who would do that? Then in November another one of my best friends left for his mission, I went to his talk where I met the missionaries for the first time. They asked if they could meet with me and I kindly declined, telling them I had my own church but I told them I'd come to church again with the Thornhill family, they took me on my offer and said see you next week. For about a month I worked all my magic to never have to talk to the missionaries after sacrament, I became a pro at dipping & dodging. You see I'm the type of person who has a hard time saying no to people who are so nice. But one Sunday when I was stuck in a pew they came up to me, asking if they could share a message with me sometime, I said sure why not. We had a meeting for that Friday.
    I joined the Church a little over a year from the first time I went to a sacrament meeting to my actual baptism, I originally had a baptism date for March but with everyone constantly feeding me different information, I knew I wasn't ready, so I backed out. I became a Christian in high school through a youth group called YoungLife and a church here in Tempe called Praxis, it was what I was all about, I loved both of those communities so much, they blessed me more than they will ever know. But just like a parent watching their child making a decision they don't agree with, my two communities weren't too thrilled about my decision to join the Mormon Church. A lot of people where confused, some angry, and some shocked at how "stupid" I was being, but I couldn't keep letting their remarks affect my decision.
    So, in July 2010 I secretly started meeting with the missionaries again, about only 4 people knew I as meeting with them....I wanted to figure this out for myself. After many lessons & thoughtful prayer, I knew this was something I wanted to do, and had to do. I told the missionaries I wanted to get baptized within in two weeks because I knew from prior experience the longer I waited, the more time Satan had to work on me. The whole baptism all I felt was so loved and so much happiness. You'd think life would be peachy after that but its been far from it.
    This year has brought many obstacles and trials but more importantly it has brought be great friendship, amazing conversation, and closer to my Savior. I can tell you I've wanted to give up a couple times, walk away, wish I made a different decision but Heavenly Father blessed me with friends who wouldn't let that happened. I've been on the worlds highest spiritual high but I've also felt the lowest of lows. I can even admit there has been a few tears. I'm not perfect, I don't want to be but I know with all my heart that this Church is perfect & my Savior is perfect. He is the perfect source of love, He is the perfect stream of mercy, He is the perfect example and for that, I am eternally grateful. I know my Heavenly Father knows me, He knows all my thoughts, my doubts, my concerns, my highs & lows, He created me. I am thankful for the knowledge I have of my Savior and I have never felt so close to Jesus as I do now, my love for the Lord continuously grows. Thank you for everyone who helped me through this journey and stuck by my side. You are deeply loved & greatly appreciated.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Plan....

After I'm healed from surgery
"the plan" will be in affect
& that's that.
Just you wait and see.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Beyond Blessed....

So, these past couple of days have been nothing but amazing & miraculous.
I went into surgery hoping for my will, but prepared for God's will,
whatever that may have been. It was the first time I felt like I fully gave
Heavenly Father my whole heart. 
I didn't know what to expect, I hoped for one thing but was ready for another.
All I can say is God is good, He is oh so good. 
Pre Surgery:
I received a blessing the night before my surgery from a couple
I truly do adore, admire & look up too. 
My amazing sister friend Katie Nelson told me a week before that Bryson(her hubby)
would be more than happy to give me a blessing. 
You see I usually keep to myself when it comes to personally things,
I've never been the type to open up but being with these two,
I felt at peace in my heart, I knew I could trust them.
As I went over to the Nelson's, I hung out with Katie in the living room, waiting for Bryson,
he was getting into his suit. It was so so so comforting to see how serious he takes
holding the priesthood, peace over came me.
Bryson, Katie & I talked for awhile;
it was so good, I was calm. 
That blessing is something I keep close to my heart, 
it was beyond amazing, it was so comforting, & it is so sacred to me. 
I am beyond thankful & blessed for Katie & Bry in my life!

Post Surgery:
The first thing I asked when I woke up;
"Did they save my ovary?"
"Yes, yes they did"
*insert weird, crazy, awkward, anesthesia crying*
My God is so good, He is oh so good.
It was beyond a miracle if you ask me.
This whole time, I was told the cyst was growing in/on the ovary,
when the doctor went in, it wasn't even touching my ovary,
it was slightly attached my fallopian tube.
I have never felt so close to my Heavenly Father than I have right now,
my testimony has never been stronger,
the Spirit has never been so apparent to me until this trial
& these are feelings I never want to lose.
I know my Heavenly Father knows me,
He knows everything about me.
My Savior died on the cross to feel the pain I felt,
but He rose from the grave & felt the joy I felt when I woke up from surgery.
He lives, I know He lives, I testify of that! 
I love my Heavenly Father &  He loves me. 
I am blessed. 
I have been so humbled by this experience.
Thank you to all who stuck by my side.
You are loved, you are so very deeply loved. 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Wednesday is The Day.....

So, I've been sick for a while, nothing life threatening but some
pretty heavy stuff. Basically I have a tumor/cyst growing on my ovary.
This is nothing new to me, I had the same thing happen when I was 17,
except that tumor was 10 inches big
and completely took over my ovary.
Down one ovary.
Fast forward two years, I'm the lucky 10-15% where the cyst reappears,
but now on my other ovary. 
For the last three months we've been tyring
everything to stop what seems inevitable,
So on Wednesday I'll be going in surgery
trying to remove the cyst without taking my last ovary.
My doctor said;
"You have to ready when you wake up to not have a ovary."
Thoughts started running through my head;
"Why me?"
"What did I do wrong?"
"I will never be able to have my own child."
"Who's going to marry a woman who can't have kids?"
"Whatever I did I'll fix it, I won't do it again."
"I will never hear my child's heartbeat."
"God....I'm sorry."

I think of how undeserving I am of God's grace,
yet He continues to pour it out to me.
I think of all the times I've sinned against my God,
but still, He loves me unconditionally.
I think of all the pain I cause my Savior
only for Him to show me mercy. 
Through these trials and obstables
I have never felt the love of my Heavenly Father so apparent as I do right now.
I know He knows me.
He knows every little thing about me.
He knows my fears, my joys, my trials,
He knows how many hairs are on my head.
He created me, every part of me.
& I am so grateful for that knowledge, for that truth.
The atonement is beautiful, & so is our Savior.
Because of the cross, Jesus FEELS everything I am going through right now.
He understands & for that, I am blessed. 
I am oh so blessed.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

I'm So Thankful....

I sometimes sit and wonder why,
why does Heavenly Father bless me with the most amazing friends.
I am far from deserving.
But with the people He has blessed me with
I could never deny His love & care for His children.
I am so thankful for all the people 
He has blessed me with.
I am loved, so so loved. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

My Father Is...

I am loved, so deeply deeply loved.
My heart rejoices in this divine romance.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Keep The Gray's in Your Prayers....

When I was in high school I had the most amazing oppurtunity
to be apart of a youth group called YoungLife.
It gives kids the chance to come to know their Savior, Jesus Christ.
It opened my eyes to see the love, sacrifice, and mercy of my Lord.
I honestly believe 100% I wouldn't have come to understand this love 
without help from my YoungLife leaders.
Troy Gray is true man with a huge heart for Jesus. 
His love for his YoungLife is so apparent and their is this light about him
when he is with those kids.
But his light shines brighter when he talks about his love for Jesus. 
He is truly a Man of God. 
He has blessed so many lives of those around him that I know
he will blessed in his time of trial. 
Troy has recently been diagnosed cancer. 
I ask that you take a minute or two out of your day and pray for his amazing man.
Pray for peace and comfort for Troy during times of chemo.
Pray for wisdom and strength for his wife, Kelly.
Pray the Lord will be with his two kids, Garrison & Aven, surrounding them with love. 
Pray that Jesus would be a healing hand.
Pray that through all this the Lord would be glorified.

LtoR: Garrison, Kelly, Troy

Troy & YoungLife leader Amy

That's Troy for ya :)

Garrison holding Aven.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Be Still, My Soul;

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

I'm Grateful....

for the power of the priesthood
& for those men who hold it.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Today I'm Feeling.....

very spontaneous 
& i cant get this little jewel of a city off my mind :)

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


i'm super excited about the future right now,
i finally feel i am moving forward. 
so stoked about it :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

An Everlasting Declaration....

Jesus is good,
 oh so good.  
I am loved by an amazing King. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Utah. Idaho. Utah.

Heading up to Utah & Idaho for a week.
Super excited to get out of this horrible heat in AZ. 
Seeing some good friends :)
Kristin. Erica. Carly. Allen. Smith. 
Pray for safe travels, please! 
Will def blog when I get back!